The husband continued. HES ALLERGIC TO WATER! “They fell under the lawn mower,” he explained. Each time we would have to explain a long update to every single one of them because they "are entitled to hear it from a doctor".One of these stories being sitting down and explaining why you don't give gatorade as an IV drip. I developed a similar bump on the top of my foot. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. I didn't ask for any more details. She's developed many health problems related to her weight (that she refuses to acknowledge are due to her weight. "Patient: "I have to go. My patient announced she had good news … and bad. One we get commonly is "I know my body." Not the guy who is desperate/who can't face his HIV/ who lake of knowledge/who trust a witch, but the f***** monsters that take advantage of weak people and risking their life/are responsible for their death. Progressing through my assessment she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn't matter "because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it throughly after every use." Wish there were more such short stories to read. Pharmacist, but comment still relates.Had a lady call in complaining that their husbands viagra wasn't working. “Are you ready for this?” “What is it?” I asked. She did so without hesitation. And type 2 diabetes.". Patient: Drugs! I think I found some or most on Wikipedia under short stories and other sites mentioned in my attributions on random internet searches. my little girl’s name is Tammy.”  Author Unknown, A Boy and a Frog He said he was not willing to give this up or try decaf. Ran to the dermatologist because of a spot on my butt that I thought might be cancerous. Trying not to burst out laughing, I said "Your daughter's scrotum?" I had a patient come in for an STD check. I’m glad you enjoyed this… TY! I’m still amused/puzzled when WP suggests old posts to readers instead of my most recent stuff! I'm an anesthesia student currently doing my clinical rotations and I had an old guy wake up and the first thing he asked was "do I still have my balls?" I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. “The medicine for my earache worked,” she said. As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears his eyes, answered the question with these words: “Are you God’s Wife?” Jul 20, 2017 - Explore aria's board "Humorous Short Stories" on Pinterest. That would be so d--- frightening... At least "if looks could kill" had a chance to become true. On further question it transpired that four times a day he was spraying the dogs coat with the ventolin inhaler. Had a female patient. You're not more sick after you quit. Turns out she was a realtor and didn’t want her water to break while she was showing a house, so she put a glass cup in her pants to catch the water. Anyhow I'm at the computer going over some admission questions with him and his 10 family members who are crowded in the room with him. Not sure about this one sorry. Lights dipped out, generators kicked in. Emergency surgeon hereGot called 2 a.m. because a patient demanded to see me because "her daughters farts smelled too bad"Kept a straight face. The 10 Best Short […] "Told a lady she was pregnant. Did not believe me. I had a Marine come in because he swallowed a rock. Yes I remember, said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, bones funny. "I think I have the flesh eating bacteria." - Badge. The Wise Woman’s Stone The boy took the frog from his pocket and said, “Look, I am an engineering student, I have no time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!”, “I don’t want anyone reading my writing to think about style. Most of the cases are simple misunderstandings whose can happen to anyone. A guy came in with a wheelchair. Human stupidity will never stop to surprise me. Thanks for much pleasure, Elizabeth. Great photos too! RN here. When he brought the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses replaced, the assistant asked what had happened. Had a young woman with recurring UTIs that began after a recent partner and with no STDs; went through the standard questions trying to figure out what could be causing them and eventually found out she had been lubricating with jelly. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. . Getting a physical around 11-13 and the doctor who was probably around 75 at the time asks me to strip down to my boxers for the whole awkward ball grab thing. RN here. Because hey, normal is boring and everybody likes a little excitement in their lives. Your approach to treating a ganglion cyst was medically sound....300 years ago. So I get on my phone and call the nurse assistant and as her to bring in some ice water. All of these stories were great! The guy was just rubbing his penis against her leg and ejaculating on her thigh. “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk all the way with me, but I noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life there was only one set of footprints. My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke. The patient, sadly, died from a severe sepsis a month later with a highly resistant microorganism. They did not understand why we were giving "salt water" to her.Conversation with her son:"Look she likes gatorade, she is drinking it so why cant you give it to her through her drip? Like... no, just the side that shows when you smile is not enough. This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding “SMACK!” and storms away. Had a woman who was in active labor, despite insisting she couldn't be pregnant. He leans down and says “Listen mister, I’ve had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. He quickly brought them to her. i always forget how much i love a good short story until i read one. She was eating an entire package of Dad's oatmeal cookies every single day for a year (basically a 'bowl or two' filled with cookies), and could not understand how that was different from oatmeal. Friend of mine is a doctor. How do you do it? The boy picked up the frog, smiled at it, then placed the frog into his pocket. She was dead serious. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. “Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. My wife is a massage therapist, and whenever a heart attack hits, she starts to massage some pressure points and it stops. with a devout prayer: I just shared one with him. I was intubated for a severe attack a few times. Even better still is that each of them takes a totally unexpected and hilarious twist. This is a great post. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me something more precious. You were right, they did make me think & smile. Thanks! Come on... even a dog knows how to reproduce!!!! For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints on the sand — one belonging to him and the other to the Lord. "I think it's my gallbladder," they say. Humor: (funny humorous stories, humorous jokes in English, short funny humorous stories, humorous story jokes, short funny read, most humorous jokes, Belize fiction,) Whether you read it cover to cover or one story at a time you’ll agree that Another Gringo in Belize is the best humor book for adults. Elizabeth, Great post!! Hi Eliz, I love stories too. With a story, you can cut through the need for excess verbiage in a presentation, and in one fell swoop, deliver a pithy or funny missive to a captive audience. ""Yup""Which doctor(s) did you see about them? I think that is supposed to tell me something but I don’t know what. When I first set eyes upon him my heart began to palpitate. What a great post! "Why," I asked, puzzled, "would you swallow a rock?". Great short stories! Reply. He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. There should be a licence for reproducing, The other day I had a 400 lb, 50 year old patient who hadn't pooped in (she claims) 6 days. It was around 11 pm. Me too. You made me laugh, gave me something to think about, inspired me, remembered what matters. As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky.“You remind me of my third husband,” she said coyly.“Third husband?” I asked. I remember reading a theory about how oxygen is actually toxic, but it just takes a long time to kill us. So my parents agreed to all of this. A gentleman calls our office with questions about an upcoming test he is scheduled for, and we talk at length about the procedure. Hence we created these thrilling two-line-stories just for you. 15 Really Funny Short Stories. Go to the dentist to get some X-rays annnnd it turns out to be a piece of a tortilla chip. Once she was stable we did some teaching and kept her for a few days for observation. © Elizabeth Obih-Frank and Mirth And Motivation, 2008-2019. Most of these a a fiery statement for decent sex ed!! It wasn't until I was in the doctor's office that I noticed that it had exactly the same pattern as the inlet cover on our jacuzzi. "Come on, George Clooney doesn't wear reading glasses!". Turns out the woman had been in a hetero relationship for a few years and never got pregnant despite using no protection. From hilariously misinformed patients to doctors with a wickedly dry sense of humor, we at Bored Panda had compiled a list of short stories when doctor/patient interactions were just too funny. Call it … carma! You made me smile from here to there! Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them. I asked what she was doing and what she thought the cane was for. In fact she spent the morning cleaning her sons bar, as she often did on a Sunday morning.Considering her age they took these symptoms very seriously and begun running tests to find the source of her ailments.The son came in to visit his mother, and on the way he bypassed his bar. Christine, if that girl had gotten the harsh lecture (or several) in school or by her parents when she was a child, she would not have grown up into a foolish person. I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, including if he had had any heart attacks. "Well this is gonna be a problem. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, those were the times when I carried you in my arms.” The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. A few weeks later, we get the fax that she went to the breastfeeding clinic and everything was fine. Do you enjoy telling stories? in radiance and in beauty.”. Thank you for sharing these. Then the woman frowns, runs a finger up between her derriere, and gets off the bus. It keeps life more interesting and keeps the imagination active. A few minutes later, another knock was heard. I am not a doctor, but I do work at a doctor's office.So a person came in with conjunctivitis. Thanks you so much for sharing these fun stories here! Nothing on it, nothing added to it. Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. (Closed), Video Of Cocker Spaniel With "Disney" Looks Goes Viral On TikTok. Not a doctor but I'm a nurse who worked in the OR at a trauma center. “The bathroom’s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom.“Thanks,” he says, returning the empty container. , I loved the story about the bus driver. What a lovely way to start the day- I’ll have a Quickie please- my 20 years just ended- I am starving! , Love your stories — especially like Socks and shoes, Thanks for your feedback… I’m always astonished at the recommendations WP makes when we connect with each other. At some point one of them said something like, "We've got to get back in there and deal with an unconscious patient." Patient: Aisle six. Author Unknown. The mom was well spoken and appeared fairly intelligent. Another person already submitted the same fake story. Funny Short Story about the Marines (text format) Go get them, Alice! The cars are racing down the highway — 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. 70 yo female tripped and fell 2 days ago. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. 15. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Best stories to read and share with your family and friends. Hi there, The most outrageous thing I've heard was from a boy who was something like 20-22 years old. all of them transported me to another time and place and it was good. "I dont feel it but LOOK ITS RIGHT THERE". Patient: Like ten years, maybe longer. The daughter chimed in and said "no, no, she's a Libra..." I then laughed hysterically at her awesome joke. A well dressed man came in with his 8 year old, healthy looking, son. I mean, they did sleep with each other every night. Didn't do anything and it was getting bigger and interfering with my shoes so I got it investigated. Said she and her partner had been trying to conceive for like five years and had "tried everything." "Nurse: "Where? As soon as the words are out of my mouth the whole family screams "NOOOO! That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.” Mark Twain, On Wisdom & Humor: Short Stories to Make You Think & Smile… Storytime, Stories transport us to another time while teaching us profound lessons about life. 24 Funny Stories With Unexpected Endings. YES! When the doctor was explaining to the mom that her son had to wear his glasses all the time since he's nearsighted and basically can't see clearly past 5' in front of him. Me: Sir, I need to know why you stopped taking your antiretrovirals for your HIV.Him: Well I met this witch online that...Me: Wait, did you just said "witch"?Him: Yeah, she sent me a bunch of herbs every month to cure my HIV, and they worked, last time i checked I was cured.Me: Where and what tests did you do to know you were cured?Him: I made an online test that the witch told me to, they were a lot of random questions but in the end it said that I was free of HIV.Me: Ooook, we will need to do a blood test to confirm that. adoration, and hope. Now…I wonder what happened to the guy who got stopped by the cop? I have a ganglion cyst on the inside of my wrist, when it starts getting large I smash my wrist down on a hard table and it goes away. He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. I asked about all the normal stuff, and she claimed to have no idea why she had this eye problem - she had never had anything wrong with her eyes. he’s so well known for his children’s books, i don’t know how many people know how clever and funny his adult stories are. Amputations might have indeed 'ran' in the family if they all had the same health habits, or lack thereof... Im ashamed to say I have a story that fits here. She says that she only brought her son in because there was some form for school that needed to be filled out and that doctors are all a con artists trying to push unnecessary medications and interventions. She said her last period was "like ten months ago" so she'd gone through menopause. He's in charge of the \"new\" construction – converting the kitchen in to the master bedroom for instance, while I'm on wallpaper removal duty. and then hung up the phone.Still my favorite viagra story. 911 dispatch call that was transferred to EMS service. I just loved your stories. The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled at it, then put it back into his pocket. "We explain again. “Insist on yourself. I was doing my rounds and saw a patient out of bed and walking around the floor following a knee replacement. He needed medical attention ... from the psychiatrist! My favourite one was “A Boy and a Frog”. Sad. Not a doctor but work in pharmacy. A story with a twist. I love a good story! “Listen lady,” states the gruff bus driver, “the lady that got on the bus before was a deaf-mute. Please check link and try again. I had to think about it for a minute then I realized he was asking for his constipation medication. My parents were instructed to take better precautions in our home and went through instructions, more dusting, washing bed sheets and the big one: NO SMOKING inside the house. I don't know about you but I kinda make a game of peelin… and the story abt the boy and god’s wife touched my heart. *sorry, I really had to this time ♥. In this world of sadness, there is always some stories to bring back the light and smile on your face. “The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. I had a guy with an ICD in place. Thank you. we all know that a pregnant teenagers know everyting. But my doctor knew how to calm me down. They're used for many pain pgt patients who have Multiple sclerosis there's one called marinol, Not a doctor but my dad is an opthamologist (eye doctor). NO WATER! This happened in med school. more funny short stories here. At least not before a spay or neuter. A grown woman, with a child, thought that by him having sex, his acne would magically go away.. My mum once had to try explain to a doctor that regardless of tests she has celiacs because google said that if you have celiacs you get sick when eating bread, she just wouldn't accept that as you get older you can't eat half a loaf of bread in one sitting. Sleep. When that wouldn't work, plan B was to do the same at night but only under a full moon. We ask how she's getting the extra calories for the breastfeeding, and she tells us the Clinic told her to eat 1-2 bowls of plain oatmeal a day. sex ed is very crucial - PPL NEED TO LEARN IT. Was driving with my partner and patient in the back. Just got this story from my girlfriend’s step-dad who is a neurosurgeon. I went to the doctor to treat my soar throat and I agreed to get a shot of penicillin. : I wonder, do doctors themselves also hate going to a physician? What delightful stories! Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, GET UP NOW! “Whoa! B, What an interesting set of stories! Wow. My fiance is an X-ray tech. Everything went as normal, the doctor examined the boy and ended up prescribing glasses. A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. I love you! So I started explaining to her as kindly as I could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. again... i can understand some people has less knowledge than other... but that??? Your account is not active. When i was a kid i never eat oatmeal. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. When we think back to our childhood, we remember the fables and fairy tales we enjoyed. Before leaving home she used a little feminine deodorant spray, just in case.She gets to her appointment and is assisted into the stirrups for her pelvic exam.The doc takes a quick look and says "My, aren't we fancy today! She sat in the waiting room for over an hour with that thing in there. or when school forbid sex ed. I said no, we go to 10th Street. So I gave her all kinds of things to make her go and the moment comes when she feels the urge. Wouldn't help. Not a doctor, but I WAS a corpsman in the Navy. Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, “A quickie, please.” The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. . There was an anaesthetic that we used that sometimes induced some hallucinations either going under or coming out of anaesthesia and heard some funny things. Each story in this genre of micro horror tells a creepy stand-alone story with a sinister twist. A few minutes in he starts complaining that he's thirsty. She replied she thought the cane was for pushing people out of her way since she's now "handicapped" and it wasn't to help her walk on her post op knee. I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, including if he had had any heart attacks.He responded, "oh yeah, I've had about 20 of those. Umm, why are you in a wheelchair? I’m here for Flo. Give me a good excuse and I’ll let you go.” speckled with last night’s raindrops, 1. He had to stop a minute to regain his composure. for what the day may bring. TY so much for sharing it and for your feedback. She explained that he washed the condom with hot water and soap before he used said condom again.. I really have a problem with this kind of people. Was doing surgery on a 19 year old who tested positive for meth and cocaine who was grilling the anesthesiologist about every drug we were going to use in surgery because "he doesn't like putting chemicals in his body"Gotta stick with that organic, fair trade, Non-GMO cocaine. Motivation Mondays: THANKSGIVING POEMS & QUOTES, Motivation 2020: Veterans Day Poems & Quotes, Motivation Mondays: International Day of Peace & World Gratitude Day, Motivation 2020: Women’s Equality Day #womensvote100 #equalitycantwait, Join Robinhood with my link and we'll both get a free stock. "You never asked what brand of oatmeal she's eating".Yeah. 14. 1. We pulled up her profile and realized we couldn't refill it because she just got a 28-day fill less than 2 weeks ago. Was doing varicose veins surgery on a very posh middle aged lady. I’m with you on that one too… So much we learn and remember from them. A second boy appeared and said, “Hi, I’m Eddie. In a very thick Italian accent she told the doctor she was dying. Two boys. I asked a female patient with dementia what year it is. “What’s the bad news?” I asked. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone. He gets weird cases all the time. I yell STOP and immediately try to run over to the sink where I proceed to trip and fall. You can change your preferences. Turns out his girlfriend was giving him her female hormonal birth control pills for “extra protection”. I know my body. She said her last period was "like ten months ago" so she'd gone through menopause.She was 25. i hope she was just delusional because i pitty her kid. A few minutes after that, a third knock was heard. thanks, Great stories! My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke. Me coming out of anesthesia: "Man, you're handsome." They were really a bizarre couple. The nurse was still on the room btw. I then went on to explain to the patients wife that in order for the medication to work, the patient needed some sort of "stimulation" The lady just screamed a loud "ME?!?!?!" I proceed to drop some dye in her eyes to check them in a microscope, and when I do I realize she's wearing contacts. Radiographer here and had the ED doctor give me a request for soft tissue neck X-rays and the doctor was p much like "don't question it, just do it." It would be boring just like the stories without twists. Had a christian couple come in and ask why they didn't get a child. Something made her look behind. assuring me that on the morrow FAKE. As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. A nice young lady like you shouldn't be concerned with such things.". The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled, and put it back. Stories are a great teaching tool because people remember the lessons and the wisdom shared. "Yes but gatorade has more electrolytes. Ask. What kind of stories appeal to you? Proof that we need better sex education... One day in the pharmacy, a girl comes to the counter requesting a refill for her birth control. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, “What would you like, sir?” Receive. It took me some effort to keep a straight face, but we eventually resolved the problem and she stopped getting UTIs. When I bad a colonoscopy, my GI doctor said I said, "wow, now I know what a Muppet feels like!" My Name’s Joe Then I referred her to ENT for her hoarse voice and she was surprised how fast she was seen. “Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. The Lord replied, “My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. I curated these funny stories from funny Tumblr stories. So, not a doctor but I work at a hospital. Progressing through my assessment she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter “because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use.” I asked what she meant when she said he washes it after every use.

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